On to the Next...A Weblog

So I did it...

2008-10-14T17:44:00.000-06:00

i wrote a recipe for october...

on the 14th...

it's now up.

i'm lazy and lame

2008-10-01T00:03:00.001-06:00

So

2008-09-23T12:41:00.004-06:00

over at my website I decided to include one awesome, quick recipe a month or so.....I figured why not feed your belly and your eyeballs at the same time.

www.ingalbraith.com

recipe

P.S.

2008-09-04T22:27:00.004-06:00

after i wrote that last post, i decided to anywho his widow, patricia. she lives in virginia just outside washington dc. i called her on the telephone not really knowing what i would say, but we ended up talking for over a half an hour. i think i love her a little. she's expecting the bracelet in the mail sometime this next week...she said i should expect photographs and letters and stories and recipes in return. she really is a beauty.

So it's done.

2008-09-04T20:38:00.004-06:00

I've been wearing my stainless steel bracelet around my wrist for over five years now. It has inscribed on it the name of Col Charles J. Scharf, an Air Force pilot that went missing in North Vietnam in October of '65. Now we know what happened to him. Now I can return it to his family....even if a little late

uugh

2008-08-28T20:13:00.002-06:00

i'm 28 and still have a laugh at making lame ass teen webcam poses...

2008-08-20T14:05:00.000-06:00

2008-08-19T00:14:00.000-06:00

before/after

2008-08-08T01:47:00.002-06:00

Painted Fork

2008-08-06T16:07:00.004-06:00

I went to Ace Hardware and spend ten bucks on Primer, Saddle Tan, and a Satin Clear Coat. I came home and attempted painting the fork. Overall it came out pretty well. If you look up close there are errors....which drive me crazy but from a foot away or more it looks pretty good. I like the color. I think it'll go well with the white of the tape on my bars and some of the white accents on the derailleurs.

Part 2.....sanding

2008-08-05T22:11:00.004-06:00

i washed both the fork and frame this evening. i first cleaned both really well with some thinner and lighter fluid...then a good hot water/soap bath...i started with the fork. i didn't want to take it down to bare steel but there were some dings and scratches and whatnot that i needed to get out.. overall the fork came out well.

then i got into sanding the frame itself. this was a bitch at first, but after a few minutes i got a system down and i was able to take off the original paint and primer.it's super smooth. tomorrow i'll head over to home depot and grab a couple cans of spray paint and some sealer...

here's the frame

Overhaulin'!

2008-08-05T17:47:00.006-06:00

So I needed a project outside of photography. Something for me to learn to do, attempt to do...So I decided to completely dismantle my Schwinn. I'm going to clean and adjust all components and paint the frame. I had today off and although I've been feeling a bit under the weather, I decided to get started. This is a good project for me. I don't really want to invest any money in the bike and for the cheap cost of paint and just a few hours of labor, I think it'll end up looking ok.

racked

'88!

box of tools and a novices bible

train wreck

CHICAGO!

I'm probably going to fuck this up!

ready to clean/sand/prime!

so i got it all apart...all the parts have been bagged and accounted for. going to wash fork and frame this evening and start in on sanding. so far all i've had to spend is $2.65 for some lighter fluid to get rid of the glue residue. my huge expense will be the 15 dollars in paint...if i can do all this for under 25 bucks i'll be stoked. ok more later.

it's hot, humid

2008-07-17T19:16:00.001-06:00

and i'm lazy. i rented the 11th hour and national treasure 2...i'm doing nothing, going nowhere and hope to relax....

four of six done...

uugh

quite possibly

2008-07-15T23:41:00.005-06:00

the best poster i've ever seen.

WWW.IMKEITHHERNANDEZ.COM

2:30am

2008-07-13T02:34:00.002-06:00

the last couple of days have been good ones....i went out with my marrying friends...it was really nice. they drove...i sat in the back seat, looking from side to side, taking in the quick trip west to red rocks...i've always liked these two humans...even from the start...when i first met them...i knew initially they were good people, but the more time i've spent with them over this last week and a half or so, has definitely confirmed that...they're the kind of humans that love people and can roll with the punches..i like being around people like that. so we went to red rocks..i conceived of an image of the two of them and i had hoped to implement it there...i think it worked out well, and my friends seem pleased..........dave has had really kind words to about this (un)engagement series thus far..it's been a big jolt of electricity to hear that kind of feed back from him...he's the kind of dude that when he gives positive feed back it's not the bullshit kind, ya get it?......i feel good about the rest of the series..i think the next few photographs can be pulled off well...two dependent on content, and one on composition. i really want this work to be the best i've done thus far...technically and artistically...and i know it's ridiculous because it's two dudes i know getting married, but at the same time that's what i have to work with right now...this really has been the first time that i've actually made photographs as opposed to taking photographs...and i really think that i've 'taken' some beautiful photographs over the years...which is well and good...but i really want to be able to 'make' beautiful photographs...and when this thing is over i hope i'm left with six beautiful images that i made...

Beat Down!

2008-07-10T00:24:00.002-06:00

So I didn't get a chance to ride the new Schwinn yesterday. I spent some time out at the local reservoir making some images for a couple friends that are getting married this coming December. That was fun...they're good humans...kind, down to earth, etc. it was a good time..i posted on my photo blog about it.....but i got a chance this morning to take the bicycle out..I did about 15 miles on it today. it's sweet...really light for being twenty years old...i think it's like 21 pounds...it handles really well and is pretty fast. all the gears were smooth and felt like a strong bike on the hills....so i'm stoked..it's a sweet american eighties road bike...now i can pretend like i'm greg lemond.

went out this evening to shoot my friends again today out at redrocks but they were doing some movie/family/summer thing..so i'll be out there tomorrow when it's back to normal.....quiet...but that should be nice when it happens.

ok my legs are finally starting to hurt...

bed

So this happened

2008-07-09T01:36:00.007-06:00

1988 Schwinn Premis...sigh

Things I'm wanting right now...

2008-06-30T16:47:00.002-06:00

- An old Peugeot road bike
- A couple of sweet copper saute pans
- 2 Large Softboxes
- A Chrome bag
- Hummus, all the time

2008-06-17T19:40:00.001-06:00

2008-06-05T02:23:00.001-06:00

so

2008-04-24T01:14:00.001-06:00

kimya dawson and angelo spencer were nice..good people, good music...and one shitty band in between the two.

2008-04-19T02:12:00.004-06:00

i never go out or hang around humans..but tonight i spent time with people i work with...being the voyeur that i am, one of my favorite past times is watching boys and girls and their public mating rituals....drinking, laughing, trying to attract the opposite sex...it's funny and sad but in the end a totally unconscious act...humans are hardwired that way i guess...

lazzzzy

2008-04-17T22:10:00.002-06:00

i got bit on the mouth by a parrot today......it was awesome.

2008-03-19T20:29:00.003-06:00

so i've been messing around with leopard

The Suburbs

2008-03-09T00:55:00.004-07:00

I've been slowly working on a side project for myself. About the weird little world that is Highlands Ranch, especially the little segment in which I live. It's called 'The Hearth' and was built within the last couple of years. It's crawing with early thirties newlyweds who purchased their first home, got their first dog, and are planning on having their first baby. It's just very, very different from everything I've known.

Here's an image that I captured today.

2008-03-06T20:42:00.002-07:00

JPG Magazine

2008-03-06T18:59:00.002-07:00

I wasn't picked up for publication in the latest issue, but I was picked as a favorite outtake they said they wished they could have published...oh well...next time!

Possible Changes

2008-03-05T15:04:00.002-07:00

I have been planning and researching a personal project that would take me to Peru later in the year. It’s a story I believe in and something that I feel would transition well into still image/moving image/voice. Lately I have been doing some thinking, and I might be making a few changes. While everything that is going on in Peru is valid, I find the social and political situation regarding the recent and ongoing Venezuela/Ecuador/Colombia events, even more so. I’m contemplating heading to that region in the near future instead. I’ve started research on the current political climate and what it would take for me to get in country and make images. Over the course of the coming weeks I’ll be more informed as to whether an independent photographer, with no media connections, like myself can effectively undertake a project like this. We’ll see.

series in progress

2008-02-29T01:36:00.006-07:00

HERE it is. It'll be updated as I collect more portraits.

heima

2008-02-28T02:38:00.002-07:00

i finally got to watching the sigur ros documentary heima. it's probably the most beautiful piece of film i've ever seen.

up and running, like, for realz

2008-02-25T12:51:00.001-07:00

check out

www.ingalbraith.com

it's still a baby, but it'll get better.

thishappened

2008-02-18T23:48:00.000-07:00

new website up and running

2008-02-18T21:19:00.001-07:00

i fixed some errors and whatnot and i think navigation is much easier.

i.n.galbraith:photographer

king crab

2008-02-13T01:31:00.014-07:00

i haven't posted in a long time. i feel guilty seeing as i told myself i would try and add something daily, every other day...whatever...so it's been a while but here's the update.

work, work, sleep, work, sleep, work, work, get sick and puke for a day and a half, work, work, sleep, work.

and here we are.

so there's this joint out here called landry's. they're a chain i guess but i've never been to one. but since i got to denver and i've driven up 25 i see this sign that say's tuesdays and thursdays, all you can eat king crab...i like crab..i like eating a lot of something i like.

so i decided to take david out to dinner. he's been really great..letting me pick his brain and hang around and learn as much as i can.

and david likes crab.

and david likes eating a lot of something that he likes.

hi-five to all you can eat crab at eight o'clock on a tuesday night. i think we killed about twelve pounds of it between us. i don't want to look at a crab leg...smell a crab leg...let alone eat a crab leg...well...until dave and i go back in "6 to 8 weeks"..

we had a really great time talking about photos and humans and dealing with humans while making photos. i enjoyed the time.

mydinoswilleatyourfuckingeyesout

uuugh (redux)

2008-02-03T02:19:00.001-07:00

i've been working alot.

toomuch?

between the restaurant and apple my days are filled.

i guess i'm scared of losing the reason i'm here in the first place. it feels that ways sometimes. not that things would change, internally....or that my direction has shifted...just that life will happen and hours will be consumed by things that, in and of themselves, while genuinely good, in the long term, are meaningless.

i came to colorado with a purpose and a plan..there are days i feel good about what's happening in my life...days i don't. not the plan, or being here, but the implementation. my implementation.

financially speaking, there is only so much i need to make to get by..to pay for the necessities of life..and i'm doing that...more then doing that..but i know i'm paying a price in a sense..and that sucks.

oh a lighter note, i've been listening to chris wallas record for the last week..

and it's really good..

seattle still turns out good music

right?

right...

also

2008-01-31T21:40:00.000-07:00

this is awesome

doubledang

2008-01-31T21:32:00.000-07:00

so here i was with this huge boner all day ready for a two hour season premier of Lost..

butnobutnobutno

hour recap, hour premier made up the two.

i'm kinda bummed out.

but

that one hour was really, really good.

you got me again

j.j.abrams

maddd tension....kinda.

2008-01-31T01:59:00.000-07:00

ok...so here's a LINK to a super sweet interview from 2007..i'm guessing spring based on content...but it's jobs and gates...it's really really good. the site broke it up into seven parts..i'm sorry.

but it's worth a look if you actually care. two totally different viewpoints...personality types..

lsd vs. nrd

chris walla's

2008-01-30T23:15:00.000-07:00

record comes out soon...like now.. you should buy it if you like good jamz. fyi, he's the awkward beauty that plays guitar and produces death cab. you know..just in case..

ten hour day for jobs

tired

beatdown

2008-01-30T01:15:00.000-07:00

i'm tired.

i went into apple this morning...worked til four thirty then headed over to the restaurant for my shift tonight.

long day.

luckily i'm off tomorrow..from the restaurant, and i can just work my eight hours at the store.

david is off to st. louis to finish up the granite job so he'll be out of town for the next few days.

BUT..and this is a big but...lost premiers on thursday and i'm oh so ready..it's kinda like the christmas that never came..i'm so stoked. i got off of work...i've procured a television for the night...that two hours is mine and that two hours is overdue.

multiplenerdgasms

p.s.

2008-01-28T23:25:00.000-07:00

it's snowing

state of the union

2008-01-28T23:10:00.000-07:00

ok..so tonight..yeah

G.Dubya

i didn't hear it all. i was at work, and although it was slooow, i couldn't just sit down and watch tube while on the job.

this has nothing to do with content or promises or whatever. i've never bought into that bullshit and i'm sure tonight would have been no different.

the only thing that i'll say is that his firm stance on pork barrel spending kinda makes me laugh.

i mean, he has been a president who has eartagged a shit ton of bills that have cost us tax payers a shit ton of money.

anyways..what i meant to say..

is it me...or did the dude sound as if he was trying to talk while swallowing the last bits of a hella viscous milkshake.

he was talking and all i heard was dairy

oh well.

jesse jackson '84!!!

a cult of 500

2008-01-28T01:16:00.000-07:00

so tonight I went to an all area Apple meeting. all of us from the 5 retail stores in colorado packed into a hotel ballroom for a first quarter moral building, apple loving, air explaining orgy of sorts.

i thought it might be a bit weird. it was a bit weird. but at the same time there was something kind of nice about it. first off i was in the most diverse group of people ive been around since being in colorado. black/white, gay/straight, old/young, fat/thin...all were well represented. it was pretty sweet. and they all love apple and are totally stoked on the company. it is hard to not get a little excited.

apple does make sweet shit and its kind of cool being a small cog.

this is really beautiful

2008-01-25T12:46:00.000-07:00

nice work UPS

2008-01-24T16:07:00.000-07:00

..you were pleasant, polite, and delivered my ram on time.

p.s...hi-five newegg for your sweet dealz on mac ram...macram....macrame?

dang

2008-01-23T01:43:00.000-07:00

i really just want to be back in philadelphia..and stand in line at geno's, under their gaudy neon glow, and order a wiz with.

So

2008-01-22T21:58:00.000-07:00

if you go to Strobist you'll see the recent post of 'cool shit over the last week'...there's some really rad stuff that people are doing. my recent portrait of david (three posts below) is thrown into the mix..it's not as dramatic as some of the other stuff. oh well....i'm still happy.

drugsdrugsdrugs

2008-01-22T15:56:00.000-07:00

so i guess heath ledger's dead.

2.1 degrees F

2008-01-21T23:07:00.000-07:00

Fuck this shit...

it's waay too cold.

I'm growing a Persian mustache.

personal project and plants

2008-01-21T00:38:00.001-07:00

im starting this series of portraits soon. about eighty or so. david and i were working with light. he has a shoot coming up that will be taking place in a coal mine..in total darkness and he's been working on placing hard light to showcase the subject. i'm working on lighting for my portraits. fucking around with strobes is one of my favorite things to do. you can make mistakes, learn, move on, and apply new knowledge. i think both of us got something out of today. i took davids portrait using the lighting set up i think might work out, and i developed the image in a manner i think will be conducive to the project as a whole. i still have a couple weeks before i start in on it, so the post might change..probably will in areas....

at this point in the process, i'm fairly pleased. i hope i end up getting what's in my head.

on another note...my aunt debbie gave me a sweet plant. i don't really have a green thumb, and i'll probably end up killing her...but we'll see..

this is patty mayonnaise and she's a beauty...

oh random older white guy who's scared of...

2008-01-18T13:39:00.000-07:00

ok, so i was talking with my friend..we'll call him 'ted'.

ted's a pretty sweet dude who's in his mid forties. he's a rock climber, in good shape, and seems pretty well grounded.

but

i found out, yesterday, that 'ted' has a fear of boobs. what?

it goes like this

Me: Hey Ted..did you see that chick over there with the big gross boobs spillin' out of her shirt...what's that about?

Ted: Please don't talk about boobs

Me: What?...Why?

Ted: Because I just don't like boobs...

Me: WHAT!

Ted: Yeah...

Me: WHAT!...why?...I mean..

Ted: They just freak me out..I don't like thinking about them..or talking about them...

Me: Fucking weird!..Well, what about vaginas?

Ted: Just leave it alone.

Me: but...what about the vaginas?

Ted: No, those i'm good with....I'm happy with the waist down.

Me: That's crazy Ted, how come I never knew this? Boobs are awesome! So you'd be good swimming in a vagina ocean...but a bathtub full of boobs would freak you out?

Ted: Pretty much, yeah.

Me: weird....

CUT TO HALF HOUR LATER. I START RUBBING MY MAN BOOBS

Me: Fuck, Ted...my tits are hurting bad

Ted: Stop it

Me: No really...they're really sore..

Ted: Asshole

....and he walks away. i guess the dude wasn't kidding...

sickmovesdude

2008-01-17T15:31:00.000-07:00

my blog has taken a turn for the worse lately. filled with ridiculous youtube vidz i search out when bored before work....here's my last one.

probably not

tuesday, bloody, tuesday........what?

2008-01-16T00:38:00.001-07:00

ok, so i had an interesting conversation with my ex tonight. it was good, for the most part...pleasant..casual conversation and the sharing of pictures. her of the here and now and me of the there and then. i guess i kind of learned that it all comes down to what it is that a human decides they truly want in another. regardless of the exterior..the pretty face, the funny jokes, the big brain in their head...it really comes down to compatibility and whether, on a fundamental level, two can work out...if their views on life as a couple (outside of politics/religion etc etc) coincide...some people live for the present...some for the future..but then there are some that recognize the present and make decisions based on how it might affect the future..aware of both. some don't care...some do..i've been on both sides of the fence at periods in my life..but i'm an old man...and too tired to deal with the bullshit..i know people say relationships are work..it's a series of compromises..give and take...but, in my opinion, while, yeah it is, it shouldn't be hard work..it should be easy...it should fit..feel like home..team awesome. but i'm young...but i'm old..and i don't know anything about anything...really.

sweeet.

2008-01-15T23:06:00.000-07:00

mybrainisinthepositive

2008-01-15T01:08:00.000-07:00

i learned tonight that martin schoeller was my age when he came to america to assist. david was my age...

i took this giant leap thinking...now knowing... it doesn't all have to come to a human when their eighteen.....even if it did..most would be too young and stupid to recognize it...i would have...was.

fuck, i just want to make images that people love...hate..either or..

i'm just scared of taking pictures.

that's the last thing i want to do.

i might as well be a sixteen year old girl with a digital rebel..

HI-FIVE!

2008-01-14T01:30:00.001-07:00

i'm on strobist

yeah yeah..dave again...blah blah :)

but david hobby said my name in text

which is like a photo nerd version of han solo telling jabba that 'ian' is interested in smuggling for him..

why can't han not be a character and be a real human i could send emailz to?...

why can't harrison ford be thirty-five again?

sigh..

'another blog post title'

2008-01-13T01:04:00.000-07:00

i have ashy, red, dry elbows in colorado...along with chap lips and bloody noses......well...one nose..bloody all the time...

where's dr. alleman when you need him?

check out

2008-01-12T22:58:00.000-07:00

the gay dude with the bleach blond doo at 1:10, 1:51, 4:29, and..with the kramer head of hair, smoking an unlit cigarette, at 6:06...that guy was laaaaaaame!

the awesome cup of roasted tomato soup

2008-01-11T17:09:00.000-07:00

oh sweet afternoons

2008-01-11T16:21:00.000-07:00

so i was at the supermarket getting a snack for later on tonight as well as an energy drink for tomorrow morning seeing as i have to be up at six for our shoot tomorrow morning at a studio downtown....the sweetest thing happened as i was just about home. i was creeping through my neighborhood when i saw this really hot older chick in a porsche cayenne. she was probably in her mid to upper forties and she was really well dressed and all that shit...she was getting her mail while her car was parked and idling. then, when she got back in the car, and right as i was passing her she shoved her right index finger soo far up her fucking nose!..i mean...impressively deep. world class. oh man it made my day....i guess the lesson is that it's the unexpected things that life brings you that can make one truely happy....that and an awesome cup of roasted tomato soup.

p.p.s.

2008-01-10T02:19:00.000-07:00

oh, p.s...

2008-01-10T01:48:00.001-07:00

this is all sorts of awesome!...hi-five dino-jesus!

day off

2008-01-09T23:36:00.000-07:00

so i went to a matinee movie by myself today..i saw 'i am legend' and there was one other dude there...seeing it by himself as well. he was probably fifty. there was a moment where, before the house lights went down, that we made eye contact. for others, it might have been weird, but for us..it was as if without words we said to each other. 'yeah, i'm here by myself...because i'm awesome!'...respect.

tuesdays, oh, tuesdays...

2008-01-09T01:21:00.000-07:00

so today i had a work meeting that was repetitive but decent..rehashing they same bullshit which is necessary and understandable...work...for the second day in a row..was dead.

i've been sick for a week plus now and on top of that, three days ago my back left molar got together with a couple other teeth and started a mouth coup...

i've been downing aspirin like altoids

it's that kind of dull, ongoing pain that make you want to take a pair of pliers to your teeth..you know that feeling...right?.......right?

the silver lining to all of today is that....and i know this is the lamest of lame....but i found a new show that i like/love a lot.

it's not new by any means...but it's new to me...

i don't have a television so all of the tv i watch is streamed from the interweb...and i started streaming 'how i met your mother' today..

it has my new favorite gay, neil patrick harris...you know, doogie howser...(which premiered in 1989!)..

i'm into that boy...he's smart, funny, and plays the most over the top alpha male character i've ever seen on television...plus he says 'awesome' a lot..which i can dig...

anyways...i like the show a lot...and i've streamed way too many episodes tonight....but it's funny and clever...and i like funny and clever...arrested development it is not..but what is...

it's getting late and my mouth hurts and i need more pills....

tomorrow i'm off and david is going to be in san diego. maybe i'll make some suburban pictures.

hello

2008-01-07T04:17:00.000-07:00

doublesigh

2008-01-06T16:37:00.000-07:00

house-sitting and weekends and what not..

2008-01-05T01:04:00.000-07:00

so it's one in the morning and i'm house sitting and being quite fem and watching 'love actually'.

yeah i know, right?....

david and debbie went to florida this morning and abby and i and the fish whose name i don't remember are holding down the fort while chris and scabbers and the birds are elsewhere.....hello sentence.

work was boring and short although feeling strangely long. but it's over and i'm home. well. home.

there was a moment tonight at work when i overheard a table talking about the movie 'braveheart'...you know, that mel gibson scottish flick about scotland.

my brain did that thing it does where lightning strikes it and time reverses and memories become present tense...

'i had moved to pennsylvania for college...school gave me money for brains and put me up in an apartment on the converted fifth floor of the ymca..it was an off campus/on campus apartment...which meant that during school designated breaks the premises had to be vacated by all tenants...seeing as though i had spent thanksgiving in philadelphia and, over the christmas holiday, the rule didn't apply to me, as i was back in seattle..."spring break WOOHOO" was another matter...with no intention of flying home and no where to go, i was kinda sorta stuck...with the rules regarding inhabiting school property clearly defined, i decided to stay..on the sneak....i spent ten days with the blinds drawn and the lights off. i wouldn't have been so paranoid if the administration building hadn't been directly across the street...and if my living room window didn't look directly at the dean of student affairs office....i was a wreck..it was one of those fuck life moments that extended out over a period of time..i bought one of those giant novelty bottels of jack daniels and two bottles of the cheapest vodka i could find..i figured...like the boy scout, that i could have been/never was..i should be prepared...i was in a constant state of kinda/sorta drunk for ten days...sleeping during the day, operating at night...ordering chicken wings from the local pizza joint and running around the ymca naked at night..punching the heavy bag, or using the stationary bike while watching television with english subtitles..only because i could...it was ten days of sleeping on an inflatable mattress in the living room when i could have just as easily slept in my own bead, while drinking booze, and watching braveheart on repeat...which got me to this memory in the first place.'

the memory is much better then the story and both are better in my brain...

the dog(abby) i'm watching snores but she doesn't fart...which is nice compared to what i'm use to with saske..

i had nice conversations with a solid dude tonight..he's young but bright and he'll be ok.

bedbedbedbugssometimesneveroftenbite

playing with light

2008-01-02T22:21:00.000-07:00

david and i ran some test today...just experimenting.

oh, and i got the job at apple. not really..but really.

uuugh

2008-01-02T02:18:00.000-07:00

for the last week i've had computer issues/problems and whatnots...the geeks said it was a faulty hard drive but multiple hours of fucking around with it proved them wrong...i reformatted and re-partitioned and lost multiple gigs of hdd space but windows is up and running and i'm on the interweb and what not...by this time next month i hope to be saying goodbye to microsoft and pc's and isssssues..forever...

on the sweet side there is something nice about starting over...clean hard drive..no issues...no worries..no past, although there's a past....

sigh...wanderlust.

i found some old pictures of my old dog today when going through my files....

he has a new life in an old town but he's a beauty....doublesigh..

i was at the apple store here in town a couple weeks ago and got into a conversation with the dude rambling on about apple products..he said they were hiring..i asked about the discount...

it's good enough that i applied.... and i interview tomorrow...

i want to work one day a week..they wouldn't even have to pay me...just let me buy apple products on the cheap....

lots-o-programs to re-load...lots-o-jason anderson to listen to while doing so...

night.

the laziest of days...

2007-12-26T21:55:00.001-07:00

i spent the morning running errands to the bank and gas station and whatnot.....my day ended there...

i started a load of laundry cracked open a miller high life and began lazying..i found out i was horrible at the new madden football game..i guess my dexterity is failing me in my old age..but on a good note..i'm fantastic at swinging a wiimote and sinking maddd birdiez in tiger woods..so for a good three hours or so, saske (the smelly dog i live with)

and i just hung out tellin' jokes and talkin' bout bitchez...he farted constantly and i played golf..as soon as i realized that i'm not a fourteen year old kid and i don't have it in me to play video games all day, i decided to, like the old man that i am, take a nap...

which was nice..i don't nap nearly enough...

but i woke up hungry and was determined to brave the cold and get to the supermarket where i got a selection of foods and a six pack of pbr.

i want to lay in a bathtub full of grey poupon..but really just eat a lot of it.

i'm waiting for my comforter to dry..i think i have another six hours or so....dang.

christmas

2007-12-26T01:09:00.000-07:00

so i spent the morning sleeping and not sleeping...then sleeping again..finally waking just before eleven. i looked out the window and saw up to an inch or so of snow on the ground and as of writing this we might have six...eight? who knows..the wind blows hard and the snow accumulates wherever it desires...some areas look like a foot or more..those areas are lying...

christmas was really good given the situation i was in...new house, new city, new state....blah blah..i got a gift card to the apple store from my parents..getting me much closer to the new computer...but the real gem of the day was the han solo action figure my pop got me...it's from the empire strikes back, and it's good...really good...torture rack good.

i watched planet earth with david tonight. their friends gave them the dvd box set of that bbc special..sigh..our world is amazing...it's like...i knew that..but didn't know that..it's so big and so strange and so fucking beautiful i could cry....intelligent design...evolution..it all goes hand in hand..the thing is like ten hours long and i've barely scratched the surface..

i wish i could have seen my parents and my brother and my friends today...just for a minute..or longer.

humans like christmas...i like christmas, but it didn't feel like christmas..it felt like a tuesday...nothing more. every year i want to be twelve and feel twelve and experience christmas like i did as a twelve year old but every year that feeling escapes me. i guess that's just how it is.

it's funny how things change, views change, people change...

i had a flashing image in my head this evening that was gone as soon as it came...it was of a crocodile attacking me and biting off my pinky and ring finger on my left hand as i washed my face in the amazon river....i think i'd be into that...maybe the universe was trying to tell me something.

merry tuesday

big baby jesus

2007-12-22T21:42:00.000-07:00

i worked today...made a hundred bucks and called it quits....brought home some chicken wings and settled in and watched the new bourne movie while shoveling blue cheese into my mouth..it was the prettiest of sights...i can guarantee you.

i'm kinda not ready for christmas..but i'm more then ready for time stopping and having it be a few days before christmas....forever...i had a package on my doorstep yesterday. drop shipped from adorama but without a clue as to who sent it. i think it was my brother. it was a lowepro photo backpack. it was nice getting something unexpected...especially because it's something i'll use regularly.

*hi-five for lowepro...they thought of everything..media card holders, built in micro-fiber cloth..all-weather safety jakcet for the bag..they got the user friendly features down..and the build quality is tip top.*

i'm off tomorrow and i'm going to head over to davids. he got his 300 and i'm oh so curious as to how that beauty looks and feels...maybe i'll look but not touch..but maybe i'll touch...a little..gently...if he lets me.

hello wu-tang clan...i remember you.

hot damn

2007-12-17T23:51:00.000-07:00

i'm finally learning to be proactive in life. for far too long i sat back and waited for the universe to deliver to me whatever it is that it decided...fuck that, no longer. i've been fairly proactive this last week or so..going after what it is that i want and it's resulted in excited, new, and scary things..i like exciting, new, and scary.

i like this new me

i like buffalo

i like buffalo burgers

i like buffalo burgers at wynkoops brewing company(i also like their soft pretzles)

happy birthday brother

fridays.....

2007-12-15T01:50:00.000-07:00

this morning david picked me up 'bright and early'...well given my recent long nights it seemed that way..he had a pretty full morning lined up for us, hitting camera obscura before heading off to the convention center to review portfolios..

steve mccurry...the guy who took that national geographic photograph of the afghan girl with the bright green eyes that everyone in the world has seen at one point in time or another...was being represented in denver and showing at the gallery...a lot of the photographs displayed i had seen before(in magazines and on the interweb) but it was something...well it was something kinda/sorta special about seeing the real prints of those real photographs...of a contemporary photographer on the wall in front of my face..

take a look

while being a beautiful editorial/documentary photographer..the thing i realized about the man...is that his portraiture is FANTASTIC!...sigh..

the real gem of the day......for me....was going upstairs to see hal goulds collection of prints for sale...edward weston...sebastiao salgado...andre kertesz....double sigh....shit that 's too expensive for me to own sitting there in front of my face.....fractions of a second for a fortune...

bonerz.

afterwards we went to the portfolio review of the local art school...they had about twenty graduates commencing at this time of year and...outside of two...i found the lot quite boring..

a good interior architectural photographer and another who is really good with a computer...

but who am i to judge..

i just like seeing images and dream of making images.....

i need to get my research on...

emailzzz

2007-12-13T14:18:00.000-07:00

so this afternoon, after lunch, i decided to sit down and write an email to media storm(the banner link in the previous post) letting them know of my intended project.

well, less then five minutes after i sent the message, i got a return email from brian storm himself saying that he was very interested in seeing what i end up putting together and that he really loves my idea.

needless to say i was, first of all, taken back that i got a return email at all, and second, that it came from brian storm himself..and the fact that he is interested..well, that made me happy.

see, but now i'm nervous...i'm no ed kashi.

hopefully i'll be able to put something beautiful together.

we'll see.

go,watch,learn,enjoy

2007-12-13T01:48:00.000-07:00

so it's decided....

2007-12-11T20:57:00.000-07:00

so i've been thinking about this for some time now. a long time actually. three years long. today i decided i'm in a position where i can make it happen and there is no reason why i can't make it happen so i'm going to make it happen....happen...

i'm going to peru and i'm going to hike the inca trail to machu picchu.

i want to do it on foot...and i want to do it the way they did five hundred years ago. no trains, no shuttles...

it's something i've read about and had dreams about and i figured i'm not getting any younger and i'm only getting older and i want to do this now..this year.

it's a 43km hike up the peruvian andes starting in cusco and ending up at the base of machu picchu. it's suppose to take four days elevating from around three thousand km to approximately fourteen thousand feet by the time you're done.

i guess it set in stone the other day when i read an article that came out online a few days ago by a writer for the detroit free press.

her description was what i had envisioned in my brain and i was filled with nervous excitement to read that my visions of southern peru could quite possibly be true..

read the article for yourself....HERE it is...

so with down time this morning and it snowing outside i decided to sit down at the computer and figure out how i'm going to go about making this happen.

it's going to be a combination of money and time that will get me there. i don't think either will be an issue. i talked to my work today and told them that at some point in 2008 i will be going to peru and would need a few weeks off. for some reason, which still isn't clear to me, they were really cool with it and said as long as i give them advanced notice of the dates i'm going that i'll be written in as a leave of absence and i'll be covered. as far as money is concerned. i don't have much in the way of obligations here and now and the overall cost of getting to and living in peru shouldn't be more then i can afford.

mybonerissighing

a backpack and a camera...

f.y.i

2007-12-11T00:55:00.000-07:00

frog eyes newest album has been playing on repeat since i got home from work...

it should be on repeat in your home too.

me and a dog

2007-12-10T02:54:00.000-07:00

WORST SMELLING DOG EVER!!!

so cliff left for wyoming today..business business businnes...

so sakse and i, who i absolutely love, got to/get to spend one romantic, cold, colorado evening together...too bad he farts like no dog, no living creature should/has..ever...it's really bad..napalm bad.

but he's cute and has an under-bite and likes to sleep and loves sweetjamz coming from the commmputer...

we got a bit of snow and it's just enough to freak me out and make me stay indoors..luckily it's a sleepy sunday and driving isn't a necessity..

i've been talking/thinking/talking about harrison ford a lot lately.

i think there are life lessons, any man can learn from, in the way han solo carries himself....

i also learned that they found a mummified dino in north dakota or montana or something..some teen found it and i want to be that teen because the internet pictures made me cry and real life memories would melt me down in the best of ways...

typewriter repair this week..

time for bed..the pooch looks jealous.

That's My Monkey

2007-12-05T11:06:00.000-07:00

so david's spotlight q&a came out today. it's a pretty decent photo site put out by two brothers so it's worth a look in and of itself. my portrait of him was used and can be found in the same spotlight. check it out.

HERE

i think i'm going to head over to the apple store today and masturbate in the corner somewhere.

i need to clean my room...

swayze looks disgusted with me.

it happened one night!

2007-12-04T01:43:00.000-07:00

i said i wanted to and was going to and i did..

every bing crosby christmas song ever..

even the bootlegs..

i took davids portrait today for a q&a he has coming up. i was fairly pleased with the end result. i've never used studio strobes for a portrait before and i was concerned that the look i would get would not be the one i saw in my head. i got lucky and was able to get the kind of lighting i wanted/was hoping for. i like hard light....a lot. and it think this works.(in my opinion)

there was a middle aged blonde woman at the restaurant tonight who was drinking wine and flirting with me...she left me a 40 dollar tip on a hundred dollar tab.

unfortunately since i was new and training and blah blah blah...i couldn't keep it and the trainer kept it and i could have used it.

oh well..

highlands ranch rich pigs, come on down..(rod roddy, r.i.p)

lost, in darkville...

2007-12-02T21:59:00.000-07:00

so the last few days have been busybusybusy...with work and whatnot

a few days ago i was off and went over to david and debbies to finish up on my ringlight and hang out with chris.(who, by the way, is pretty sweet and awful smart and a definite smart ass..i love him)

there was still some sausage and cornbread stuffing that i had made for thanksgiving left in the fridge so i decided to have some for a snack which might not have been the best idea because oldfoodcanmakeyourstomachrumble....

but at least it still tasted good.

debbie invited me to go with her and her friend and the kids to dinner, stopping off first at a craft fair some woman was having in her home..

...HOLY SHIT...

so we get there and and the kids run off and do their kid things that kids do. i on the other hand..being an 'adult'...walk into, what i can only assume is some sort of female estrogen den..there were literally thirty to forty woman..probably between the ages of 28 and 55 or something like that....they were circling around this table in the middle of the living room looking at gemz and charmz and and and weird girl craft shit...AND I WAS THE ONLY DUDE THERE...

i felt as if i should have cut my dick off at the door and left it on the front porch before entering the house...i couldn't do anything..i just stood there..frozen...middle aged women giving me the eye...it was either saying 'fuck you', or 'i want to fuck you' but i couldn't tell and i didn't want to tell and and and a pictures worth a thousand words and two are worth double...

i stood in the corner for forty-five minutes drinking wine and getting drunk and thinking of my power animal while drinking wine and getting drunk and taking camera phone pixxx in a way the women wouldn't notice.....

frozen...

i've never felt so out of place.

i've been in the south side of chicago, the only white dude in sight, and felt more comfortable, more at home then i did in that suburban living room...

anyways..i did finish my ringlight...i think david came up with a good design that effectively puts out a beautiful and even light.....

can you see the way the light wraps around the spit on my lower lip...beautiful...with this direct, enveloping light, the chins, which otherwise might look off-putting, really add that 'something' the photograph.

hi-five david....

nat and alex wolff...you're closer then ever..

zzzzzzz

2007-11-29T01:24:00.000-07:00

i'm happy, i'm content.

i'm learning that denver has a small but passionate art community and i'm looking forward to immersing myself in it. i've found myself recently, and i'm sure it has to with the fact that i'm getting older and becoming comfortable in my own skin, desiring a sense of belonging. especially being in a new place where i don't know anyone, the thought of coming together with people who share the same interests truly intrigues me. i look forward to making friends. that's something i have a very hard time doing but maybe i'm at a point where i'll be able/willing to put myself out there...who knows...i say this now but when the time comes i just might fold.

i had a really good conversation with david last night. we were talking about photography and business and longevity. finding your place, your niche, but not getting comfortable and complacent. he's going to two workshops in the coming months. continuing his education so to speak. looking to learn new techniques and see things through other photographers eyes. i think this is wise and something hope to do throughout my future career.

i've found myself really enjoying the time david and i spend in the kithcen..around the center island....drinking wine and talking about photography. he's been in the game 25 years and is still as passionate as someone just getting in. i love being around that energy. it echoes how i feel and does nothing but make me feel better about the path i'm on.

it's been a long day...i was up at five-thirty, there was snow on the ground.

lunch

2007-11-27T14:24:00.001-07:00

what?

2007-11-26T21:07:00.001-07:00

i haven't made any pictures in two days. i'm a dick. my time has been spent between reading material/training material/creative options/more friends re-runs/not sleeping..you get the picture.

i want to download every bing crosby christmas song ever, in fact, i'm going to download every bing crosby christmas song ever.

thanks to dave, i got podcasts galore but with no time right now to listen/watch/learn etc.

my car still isn't done and i don't know when it'll be done but it'll probably never be done.

BUT, my ringlight will be done tomorrow, so i'll definitely be shooting again. probably myself...in my room...alone...(but with patrick swayze kindly looking on) i need to find people in three dimension to photograph.

don't eat at long john silvers, i can't believe i ate at long john silvers

i hate myself for eating at long john silvers.

i listened to pet sounds all the way through for the first time in a long time, then decided to listen to it a second time through for the first time since i listened to it the last time.

sigh.

i wish albus dumbledore was here.

? ? ?

2007-11-24T00:27:00.000-07:00

i don't know what my deal is, really....scared about life? who knows. i'm at a place where i feel fearful and frozen, as if i can't move regardless of how hard i try.

it snowed today, it's snowing today. i had to drive to denver international airport to pick up cliff and the kids. i was white knuckled and nervous. i'm deathly afraid of black ice, and the news reports only talked about black ice and black ice and BLACK ICE!!! multiple car pile-ups on I-25 east of denver, and i was going to be next.

where are you corey feldman? messin' about with that implanted, big boobed wife of yours?...come hang with me and swayze...

hey piko, i told your story today....

friday was a bust..except for seeing lots of birds in a tiny space and being bitten and biting down on a reuben.

and if you don't know.....

2007-11-22T01:08:00.000-07:00

please support kaz...buy his record, see his shows, wear a t-shirt, and tell your friends.

3 truths...

2007-11-22T00:08:00.000-07:00

1. i can get good sushi regardless of the fact that i'm landlocked in denver(another white dude saying he loves sushi, how pretentious is that??!!...I KNOW!).

2. pans labyrinth is more beautiful the second time around and spanish(and mexican for that matter) filmmakers know where it's at.

3. i am consistently, and will always be, awkward....period.

it snowed last night and looked beautiful this morning...the yards had this perfect white blanket and the streets were amazingly clear. in new york if we had a snowfall the roads would turn brown and sludge would be everywhere.. colorado seems to have the snow thing down to a science...

i went shopping with my aunt, uncle, and cousin today for thanksgiving ingredients. it was like an episode of supermarket sweep. bitches be brawling for butterballs! i got the ingredients for my contribution to the thanksgiving table. cornbread and andouille sausage stuffing with fresh thyme and sage. im also making roasted garlic and wasabi mashed potatoes along with roasted brussel sprouts with caramelized shallots, rendered bacon, and white truffel oil. i haven't cooked it a while so it should be fun. i got a lot of prep work done so tomorrow should easy peasy(peazy?)...either way, it that something a dude says?

i'm really missing people but i'm not missing places. i like it here...a lot. things are clean and convenient, a far cry from what i'm use to. i'm made aware everyday that the people around me have money and i don't and i'm starting to care less and less. i figure the money bullshit will work itself out over time...my major boner right now is getting the new 24" imac for photos, so 2500 bucks falling out of the sky wouldn't be a bad thing, but other then that, i'm quite happy with my existence. i don't require much..don't own much..my world fits in the back seat of my car. books and cameras and odd and ends..a suitcase full of clothes...i like it like that, and hope to keep it that way for a while.

please check out hello, blue roses...they're from vancouver. they've been under my radar for a while but they're there now and in a big way. beautiful boy/girl nerds making beautiful music for boys and girls.

i'm glad i started this thing here on the world wide web...it's cathartic, and makes me feel a bit more at ease with life and life and whatnot...regardless if anyone reads it..

i need to check in on veronaville and see how my alter ego is doing...the sims 2 version of ian was worrying me a bit lately...missing work and scoping dudes. but he recently got engaged and things seem to be taking a turn for the positive.

i want to see the world through eyeball hands..

patrick swayze...i keep sleeping and you keep not showing up...what gives?

sigh

2007-11-21T02:07:00.001-07:00

my first colorado snow...

bonerjamz

2007-11-20T18:40:00.000-07:00

so this is on youtube and i linked to it through catbirdseat...it's really worth a look..really.

the narrator sounds like an italian james earl jones....who knew darth vader does foreign voice overs!

too much minute maid orangeade

2007-11-20T12:21:00.000-07:00

I SAW SO MANY NAKED DUDES BUTTS IN BEOWULF 3-D!!

so yesterday i lazied around the house..again. my car is still in the shop and i'm back to being a teen, bumming rides and whatnot. i talked to the mechanic yesterday afternoon and he informed me that they "lost my paperwork" and my car has been sitting in the parking lot since the day i dropped it off..lame..oh well..

cliff (the dude i live with) left yesterday with his kids..off to atlanta for the holiday and whatnot. he asked if i would drive them to the airport, so he doesn't have to pay thirty bucks a day to park in the permanent lot. i didn't mind..i figured that since i've never seen denver international from the exterior and the fact that he said i could use his car while he's gone to run errands made for a pretty good reason to do so..plus i would have felt like a dick saying no when i had absolutely nothing to do. so the 'car in the shop, ian stranded problem' has been solved....at least for this week.

so all over the net (and when i say net i pretty much mean strobist) there's a shit ton of plans for diy ringlights. i figure the ringlight is kind of like fashion in a sense. it was really popular in the seventies then was 'out of style' until recently..i guess it's vintage light. but i happen to love the look of it but could never allow myself to spend the 400 bucks for an alien bees set up. well my uncle yesterday, i think, came up with the best diy ringlight i've seen. it's light, portable, and CHEAP. i bought the materials today to make one for myself and it came to a whopping $20.45. not bad, i just saved $380. the details are here, at my uncle david's blog... here's the effect. i think it's beautiful..except for my ugly mug.

mine should be complete in a couple of days and i'll be able to take sweet pix of hot chixxx..that's what a ringlights for, right?

ok last night i saw beowulf in 3D. i wasn't too sure about a 3D movie seeing as the last one i saw was captain eo...
as awsome as it looks..i still wasn't sure if 3D could be done right.. well..let me first say that beowulf...as a movie, wasn't very good. i'll nerd out and say that the dialog was forced and the character interactions seemed labored. i'm sure a lot has to do with the huge amount of cg in the movie, but still...with that big a budget, i was hoping for more. that aside, seeing it in 3D was one of the most thrilling movie experiences i've ever had. drastically different from seeing MJ kicking his foot and grabbing his dick. i would see the movie again only to see grendle cutting into his head with his finger nail, or beowulf cutting down the open wing of a dragon. really, really cool stuff. i can't wait for a horror slasher film in 3D. i would probably shit myself...really. there were times in beowulf where i got scared strictly because of the 3D effect, forget about if some zombie mutant robot was coming at me. there were lots of dudes asses, and i almost saw anthony hopkins dick....(one day) but i got these sweet 3D shades.

ok..i have to go come up with a recipe for cornbread and spicy sausage stuffing for thanksgiving.

whcc you're my hero..picture perfect

patrick swayze, one day we'll meet.

sunday, sunday, sunday

2007-11-18T21:01:00.001-07:00

so i woke up around ten this morning to a frantic mother pounding on my front door. she was the parent of one of those pre-teen boys, that i had mentioned, stayed the night last night.. i guess she was here to take him home. she kept knocking and ringing the doorbell then knocking again. i tried my best to ignore her and go back to sleep, but i eventually gave in and through the open window in my bedroom i was able to shout out to her that no one was home.

i actually felt pretty good this morning considering that i did nothing but edit photos and drink vodka last night. i find myself drinking when i get bored....i'm sure that's not the healthiest of things to be doing, but it did make editing my images from mexico a bit more fun. afterwards i put on harry potter and the goblet of fire and fell asleep.

i was a lazy, lazy dude today. i watched the last few episodes of the last season of friends and cried. i'm a little girl, i know, but i had never seen them before and i had nothing better to do.

(side note..for the record, i'm not a crier. at least not with real life stuff. the moments are few and far between when something that happens in real life actually makes me cry. but for some reason, i don't know why, when emotions and situation are canned and presented to me on television or in the movies, and especially when it's set to music...i can easily lose it. in the manliest way of course. it doesn't matter what it is. two lovers breaking up..a hockey game..old dudes playing cards....as long as it has this soft-shit enya type music in the background..dang.)

it might be lame, i don't know, but it's a pretty good show. it's probably my guiltiest of pleasures...it's one of those things i can put on just as background noise and pay attention or not pay attention at will...

i found this picture i took of myself on top of the mayan ruins in edzna, mexico. i only put it up because it made me really, really miss my beard. i got this new job waiting tables to earn some extra cash and the place has one of those lame 'no facial hair allowed' rules....sigh.

anways...so these kids that live with me occasionally(cliff's kids) are pretty rad. they're loud and boisterous but genuinely sweet and nice. AND THEY'RE REALLY INTO WRESTLING!!...tonight was 'survivor series' one of the wwf's...err wwe's(what's up with that?) pay per view specials and they were all in the living room watching it. the two youngest kids came and knocked on my door and asked if i would watch it with them, which i thought was pretty cool. when i was their age i was all about that shit and can remember body slamming my little brother onto the mattresses from the trundle bed my parents had in our den. but now..man. seeing it through an adults eyes gives me a totally different perspective....don't get me wrong i had fun watching it with them.. and they were excited, which made me excited....but there are dudes still in tights who were wrestling when i was their age. the undertaker struck the fear of god in me when i was ten..but the guy has to be fifty something now, and totally looks ridiculous trying to pull off that whole dead guy thing....

check out head magazine

i don't have a television and i'm starting to miss alton brown's voice

i need to start jogging......or at least walking 'at a brisk pace'

another day another...volvo station wagon at the mechanics..

2007-11-17T22:28:00.000-07:00

so i finally began going through all my images that i made on my trip into mexico this last march. there are a lot of them, and in my opinion, most of them are shit. but i did come up with a few that i liked. backpacking through mexico on the cheap was one of the best experiences i've ever had. i look forward to doing the same in other countries. peru and bolivia give me a hard on so they might be up next. who knows.

i posted a small selection on my flickr account that i recently started up. i'll throw more up as i complete them.

i was to go to the stanley hotel today. it's in estes park, colorado and, from what i've heard, is suppose to have been steven kings inspiration in writing the shining. that fell through when my aunt debbie came down with a wicked sickness. i look forward to the time when i can get up there. other then that all i did was drive around and watch gasoline leak from my gas tank, before deciding to put it in the shop.

the dude i live with has his kids here this weekend, and as i type this i hear his two pre-teen boys with their pre-teen friends outside my bedroom door doing pre-teen things. cliff (the dude i live with) goes to atlanta on monday. he'll be gone for six days on business. i definitely won't mind.

(that said i think cliff is a really rad guy and has been super nice to me. i find myself very fortunate to find such a good guy to rent from. especially deciding on a place sight unseen on both our parts. i hope he feels the same way)

safe and sound

2007-11-16T21:54:00.000-07:00

so it's been two weeks since arriving in colorado from new york. the drive out here was uneventful and quite boring. going through the southern illinois valley, parts of iowa, and the entire state of indiana didn't give me anything really to write home about...except for this.
probably the single greatest gas station i've ever been to. it could have been the fact that i was there in the morning and they were making pancakes or some other delicious smelling carbohydrate based breakfast food, or the fact that i had just woken up and really had no idea where i was or how much further i had to drive, but regardless...the place was sick. i'm talking full on nine by twelve rugs hung up all over the walls of the place with pictures of indians with dream catchers or wolves howling at the moon, and sandwiched in between them would be a picture of bob marley smoking a joint or some nascar dude on the hood of his car. the place was rad. i filled up my tank, bought a cup of coffee and left...

so here I am in highlands ranch. it's alright, but EVERYTHING HERE LOOKS THE SAME!. every house has the same green trash can and every other car is a land rover being driven by the same blonde woman in a north face zip up. i've realized that regardless of what direction i drive in i'll find a wallgreens within five minutes. i guess life could be worse.

5ives

check out merlin if you haven't

Hobby, I love you, but your ring light is a fucking bazooka.